can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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