just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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