my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
