Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
