You really coming over, don't trick.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
