what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
