He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
