you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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