I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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