I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
