he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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