Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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