she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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