HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
