She is in my trunk
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
