let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
