A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
