So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
