It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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