He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
