$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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