i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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