The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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