he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
