I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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