I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize