i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
It's shark week go big or go home
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
