why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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