I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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