It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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