A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I feel like a drive thru vagina
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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