Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
