As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
