Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
