I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
