you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
