Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
You took a bar mat shot.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
