Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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