She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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