guys are not supposed to queef...right?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
