We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
