he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
