it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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