i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Randomize
