Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
