it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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