go do what you do best...puke behind churches
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
40s are totally the cure
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
