my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
