We're facebook friends in real life
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
