Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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